"@midnight" writer and comedian Emmy Blotnick teaches us how to read self-help books, how to cry in public, how NOT to hug yourself, and how to involuntarily make the Tim Allen Home Improvement “euuughh” noise. Plus Mike tells us about the time he tried to ask a girl out with a vampire poem. Then we play a game of “Meditation Mantra or Game of Thrones Character.” Happy self-helping!
Mike's brother and G20 talking points writer Daniel Drucker teaches us how to move to another country, sneak Rick Ross lyrics into speeches, sell Greece as a refurbished Apple product, and survive two months without toilet paper. Then we play a game where we find out the official diplomatic way to say "I'm a bad girl" and "I pooped my pants." Plus, Daniel tells his famous "Any Given Sunday" wedding speech story and talks about getting stuck in the net of "Vampire Diaries."
Also, apologies for the poor sound quality on this one. Skype issues.
"Daily Show" writer Matt Koff teaches us how to parallel park, how to draw the perfect Garfield, how to use that Garfield drawing to get laid, how to appreciate fat jokes, and how to write very unsubtle sexual innuendo for newlyweds. Then we get to know each other by playing "The NewlyMet Game." Bonus mentions of cocaine and Tony Shalhoub! Hurray!!
Neuroscientist and comedian Jono Zalay teaches us how to be a scientist, how to quit science to be a comedian, and how to give rats cocaine. Mike nerds out over neurobiology, while Jess has horrible flashbacks to her days as a chemist. Plus a game of F-Marry-Kill with famous scientists and research subjects. Let this be the only podcast you listen to this week that references Phineas Gage.
"Giant Bomb" editor Alex Navarro teaches us how to become a professional video game reviewer, how to write an interesting game review, and how to get into games if you've never played them. Plus, Alex tries to explain video games like "Katamari Damacy" and "Number Munchers" to Jess. Keep that in mind: There was an educational video game franchise called "Munchers."