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How To Be a Person

Comedy writers Mike Drucker ("The Tonight Show," The Onion, Marvel) and Jess Dweck ("The Tonight Show", "Late Night") invite fellow comedians, writers, and other interesting people to teach them how to be normal human beings. Logo by Bryan Brinkman. Theme by Eric Gersen. www.patreon.com/howtobeaperson
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How To Be a Person
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All Episodes
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Now displaying: Page 3
Oct 19, 2017
Comedian, reporter, and President Show writer John Knefel teaches us how to make a great wedding speech, how to know if a joke is OK to say at a wedding, how to survive a job where you have to read the news all day, and how to use movie quotes in a wedding toast. Then we make John give wedding speeches for random celebrities. Ronald is marrying Grimace! As usual, if you like our podcast please subscribe and review us online. And tell your friends about it! Means a lot and helps other people find us. And donate to our Patreon at patreon.com/howtobeaperson.
Oct 12, 2017

Comedy writer Emily Altman (Big Mouth, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Inside Amy Schumer) comes back on the podcast to teach us how to cry in public and private, how to appear happy when you're not, how to live in a world of systemic misogyny and harassment, and how to order a one-pump steamer. As usual, if you like our podcast, please subscribe online. And donate to our Patreon at Patreon dot com, slash, how to be a person! Except no spaces.

Oct 6, 2017

In this Druckerless episode, writer/director Victor Quinaz teaches us how to be a good and also terrible big brother, how to break into film in New York, how to be an elevator boy, and how to tolerate Miami. As usual, if you like our podcast, please subscribe and rate us on iTunes. And donate to our Patreon at patreon.com/howtobeaperson.

Sep 28, 2017
This week, Dweck and Drucker discuss how to enjoy and critique an award show, how to empathize with television stars, how to temporarily change cities, how to do a long-distance podcast, how to make audio mistakes, and how to work on The President Show. As usual, if you like our podcast, please like and subscribe - it really helps other people find us. And donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.
Sep 21, 2017

Comedy Central's Emily Heller teaches us how to efficiently pack a suitcase, how to deal with adult ADHD, how to know a child actor, how to love yourself, how to rank people based on their IMDB STARmeter ranking, how to laugh at America overseas, and how to use packing cubes. Also please like and subscribe our podcast. And review us to help more people find us! Also donate to our Patreon at Patreon dot com / how to be a person.

Sep 14, 2017
Comedian Rhea Butcher (Take My Wife) teaches us how to be a better ally to queer people, how to ride your bike everywhere without being hated, how to leave Ohio, how to fall in love doing stand-up, how to separate your favorite team from their racist logo, how to major in printmaking, and how to support people coming out. As usual, if you like our podcast, please like and subscribe. It really helps people find us. Also donate to our Patreon at Patreon dot com / how to be a person.
Sep 7, 2017

Drucker and Dweck talk about their respective trips and give absolutely no useful advice about traveling. 

Aug 31, 2017

Comedian and "Boast Rattle" host Kyle Ayers teaches us how to keep your iPhone working, fail your new followers on social media, work for Apple, move to Los Angeles, and unwillingly see porn on strangers' computers. As usual, if you like our podcast, please like and subscribe on iTunes and donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson. And don't worry - Dweck will be back soon.

Aug 24, 2017

Adam Ruins Everything head writer Travis Helwig teaches us how to have a good time in Vegas, how to look like a Nazi (we recorded this a few weeks ago before there were IRL Nazis :( ), how to still believe in Santa Claus, how to be a teenage poet and rapper, how to sincerely love the music of Third Eye Blind, how to deal with extreme student loan debt, and how to trick casinos into thinking you're rich. As usual, if you like our podcast, please like and subscribe on iTunes and donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.

Aug 17, 2017

Drucker and Dweck are on vacation (separately) and will be back next week!

Aug 10, 2017

In this week's episode, Drucker and Dweck talk about how to do a packet for a late night show. Not that they're really experts. They've only had success like once or twice, but tune in for their discussion of our impending nuclear winter and how brave it is to love your curvy wife.

Aug 3, 2017
BoJack Horseman writer Kelly Galuska teaches us how to play fantasy football, how to break into television writing, how to work for MTV, how to write kindergarten poetry, how to not become a novelist, how to be a bad gynecologist, how to get followed on Twitter by J.K. Rowling, and how to come up with terrible puns. Then we unsuccessfully attempt to name Game of Thrones-themed fantasy leagues. As usual, if you like our podcast, please subscribe and review us on iTunes. It really helps people find us. And donate to our Patreon at Patreon dot com / hot to be a person.
 
Jul 27, 2017

Comedian and writer Chase Mitchell teaches us how to completely start your life over, how to get over a breakup by getting a dog, how to deal with anxiety, how to experience love through Instagram likes, and how to convince other people to go to therapy.

Jul 20, 2017

In this solo episode, Mike and Jess are really tired and mostly just complain about life and how hard it is to get a job. So, basically, it's like any other episode. 

Jul 13, 2017

This week comedian Eli Olsberg teaches us how to go to sex parties, how to be polyamorous, how to use the word "play" in a creepy way, how to not show up too early or late to an orgy, how to get through a party where you don't know anyone and still leave with 100% iphone battery, how to not be a creep, how to get called a cuck online, and how to be polite and respectful to people while they're naked.

Jul 6, 2017

In this solo episode, Dweck and Drucker talk about how to celebrate America's birthday when you don't want to, how to enjoy summer movies, and how to analyze Jay Z lyrics. 

Jun 29, 2017
Comedian and comedy writer Dani Fernandez teaches us how to deal with a chronic illness, how to ignore bad doctors, how to love anime, how to run a marathon, how to poop in the bushes at Disney World, how to enjoy Dragon Ball Z despite the internet, how to grow up in Texas and live Friday Night Lights, and how to handle Hashimoto's disease. Then we play a game of "Explain Dragon Ball Z," in which Dani tries to explain Dragon Ball Z (obviously) to Dweck. It doesn't go well. But if you want our podcast to go well, please like and subscribe on iTunes and donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.
Jun 22, 2017

"Jimmy Kimmel Live!" writer Gonzalo Cordova teaches us how to rescue a dog, how to handle a disaster at the Oscars, how to move from one racist city to another, how to escape Florida, how to attend comedy college, how to work at Comedy Central, and how to show your dog who's boss. Then we play a game of "Name That Dog," something we clearly made up on the "spot." Lol, we're professional comedy writers. Anyway, please subscribe and review our podcast. And if you want, donate to our Patreon at Patreon dot com /
how to be a person.

Jun 15, 2017

Comedian Katie McVay teaches us how to live through bedbugs, how to get asked out by an exterminator, how to have a social life during an infestation, how to start your own comedy festival, how to get 12 concussions, and how to move anywhere.

Jun 8, 2017

This week, Drucker and Dweck messed up. Their recording failed twice and they ended up losing a whole episode. Will they fall on their sword for you? You bet. Can you forgive them? Oh God, please do. Next week will be better! They hope.

Jun 1, 2017
Dweck and Drucker talk about how to watch an internet meme grow and die, how to keep busy when you're not busy, how to sound like you're busy when you're not, and how to run a new live comedy show. As usual, if you like our podcast, please like and subscribe and donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.
May 25, 2017

Comedy writer Rachel Klein (New Yorker, McSweeney's) teaches us how to deal with teens, how to convert to and away from ultra-Orthodox Judaism, how to buy a good wig, how to teach improv to religious people, how to love U2, how to mediate fights between your kids, and how to stop a bully. Then we play a game where Rachel comes up with the clueless parent name for stuff in pop culture. Also, if you like our show, please like and subscribe, and donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.

May 18, 2017

This week Mike and Jess thank you guys for listening then talk politics and millennial hate. As usual, if you like our podcast, please subscribe and review our podcast (it really helps people find us) and contribute to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.

May 11, 2017

Actor and comedian Lauren Ashley Bishop (@sbellelauren) teaches us how to get through the waking nightmare we now live in by switching up your Grubhub routine, how to manage depression, how to escape from Arkansas, how to reluctantly audition for mom roles, how to do short-form improv at a Bar Mitzvah, how to raise a cute rescue dog, and how to talk to Alexa. Then we ask Lauren to come up with captions for fake dog photos on Instagram. They are very good boys. The dogs. Or girls. Dogs can be anything they want. (DiSCLAIMER: No one on this podcast is an actual mental health professional. If you are suffering from depression, see a professional and do not take our dumb advice, except this advice to seek professional help. That's always good.)

 
As usual, if you like our podcast, please subscribe and comment - it really helps us out. And donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.
May 4, 2017

"Yo, Is This Racist?" podcast host Andrew Ti teaches us how to punch people, how to start a successful podcast, how to be a creepy photographer, how to be a good blogger, how to know when you're being racist, how to enjoy the Matt Damon movie "The Great Wall," and how to not break your thumbs when throwing a punch. Then we play a game where Andrew tells us how he'd fight various public figures. He also tells us how he'd beat Drucker in a fight. Can he do it? Of course he can. Literally anyone can. As always, please Like and Subscribe to our podcast and leave a review if you liked it. And donate to our Patreon at Patreon.com/howtobeaperson.

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